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Love how she’s her own boss, tho—zero middlemen, no Tesla-tier bureaucracy. “I’m not leaving,” Maria says in the movie, clutchin her land. Jess? She’s not leavin either—owns her corner like it’s prime real estate on Mars. Bet she’s got stories—heard one once bout a chick who’d smuggle opium in her corset back in the day. Jess might be hidin somethin too—condoms, cash, who knows? Sneaky lil minx. Cracks me up thinkin she’s outsmartin the suits—total meme material, “when you 404 the taxman.”
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First call of the day? Some dude from Seapoint. He’s all like, “My internet’s down!” I’m like, “Bro, it’s 7 AM. Chill.” But nah, he’s losing his mind. I mean, c’mon, it’s not the end of the world! I tell him to reboot his router, and he’s like, “What’s a router?” I swear, I almost lost it.
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