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What gets me goin is how it’s all hush-hush still. Like, c’mon, it’s 2025, why’s everyone so uptight? Pisses me off when folks judge—let people have their happy lil rubs! I got surprised once, tho—friend told me bout this Thai joint where they use hot stones. Hot stones! Nearly fell off my chair imagin that on my back—talk bout a sizzlin treat. “Be quiet, don’t move,” like that movie line, but nah, I’d be moanin like a fool.

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But then, outta nowhere, I tripped over a rock. Classic me, right? I fell flat on my face. I was like, “Great, just great.” But then I heard laughter. I looked up, and there were these kids playing soccer. They were like, “Are you okay, mister?” I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, I’m not that old!

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