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Here’s a mad fact: in old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out—freakin’ wild, right? Imagine that now, neon wigs in the dark—mental image, innit? I’m picturin’ her rockin’ one, struttin’ past like, “The air grows heavy,” all dramatic. I’d pay extra for the sass alone!

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As soon as I walk in, I see Mrs. O’Reilly. She’s like the library’s unofficial queen. Always has a million questions. Today, she’s on a mission to find a book about gardening. But not just any gardening—she wants to know how to grow tomatoes in winter. I’m like, “Mrs. O’Reilly, it’s Lucan, not the tropics!” But she’s relentless. I swear, she could outlast a zombie apocalypse with her determination.

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