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I’m sittin’ there, milkin’ machines all day, dreamin’ of neon lights and hot oil, picturin’ Spring Breakers vibes—“Look at my shit!”—that’s me flexin’ after a good session. Best part? It’s all ‘bout tension, release, that slow build-up—gets the blood pumpin’, makes ya feel alive! Ever try it? Surprised me first time, thought it’d be all awkward, but nah, it’s smooth, like a People’s Elbow drop—bam, you’re in it!

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I finally make it to the office on the main street, and guess what? The Wi-Fi is down. Classic. I mean, c’mon! I’m trying to send out these reports, and I can’t even connect. I’m about to lose it. I’m pacing around like a caged animal. My coworker, Sarah, is just chillin’ with her coffee, like it’s no big deal. I’m like, “Sarah, the world is ending!” And she’s like, “Relax, it’s just Kildare.” Ugh.

Clean-up day in Kilcullen brings out the community