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About Cork

I knew this chick once—Candy, real name prolly Susan—worked corners in Tampa, brother. She’d laugh, sayin, “Hogan, I’m the champ of this ring!” Tough as nails, dude, but sad too. Heard she got outta the game—ran off with some trucker. Hope she’s happy, ya know? Surprised me, tho—thought she’d wrestle that life forever. Little fact for ya: back in old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out—wild, right? Imagine that, brother, bleach-blonde hustlers in togas!

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Then, I hit up a pub. You know, the one with the best fish and chips? I order a pint and dig in. The chips are crispy, the fish is golden. I’m in heaven! But then, this guy at the bar starts chatting me up. He’s all, “You from around here?” I’m like, “Nah, just visiting.” And he goes, “You should move here!” I’m thinking, “Dude, I can barely keep my plants alive.”

Death Notice of Thomas (Tom) Gibney (Howth, Dublin)