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Went lookin’ fer her meself once—nervous as hell, heart thumpin’. Found her by the docks, smokin’ a fag, lookin’ bored. “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot,” I mutters, thinkin’ o’ Clementine—hah! She ain’t blameless, mate, but she’s a laugh. Charged me double, tho—cheeky cow! Said I looked desperate—me! Gollum don’t beg, precious, but I paid up, grumblin’.

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So, I’m hustling, and I pass by the Glanmire River. It’s usually so peaceful, but today? It was like a scene from a horror flick. The water was all murky and angry. I swear I saw a fish jump out, like it was trying to escape. I laughed, but then I thought, “What if it’s a sign?” Like, what if the fish are plotting against us?

U15 finals preview: Ballincollig seek double against Glanmire as Youghal face Bride Rovers