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Now, here’s the juice – I hit the streets, right? Not literal streets, ‘cause ew, sketchy! I’m talkin’ online, dahling – apps, sites, whatever. It’s 2025, we’re modern! But ugh, the options! Too many fishnets, not enough class. I’m scrollin’, and I’m like, “No capes! No fakes!” – gotta keep it real, ya know? One profile’s got pics so blurry I’m thinkin’, “Is this a hooker or a ghost?” Made me mad as hell – don’t waste my time, sweetie! I’m a busy gal, milkin’ cows and dreamin’ of somethin’ spicier.

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Anyway, I get to work at the office on Marine Rd. and I’m already late. My boss, Mr. O’Reilly, is pacing like a lion in a cage. He’s all, “You’re late again!” I’m like, “Chill, man, it’s just a few minutes.” But he’s not having it. I swear, he’s got a permanent stick up his backside.

Pristine period home on quiet Dun Laoghaire terrace for €875,000