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Now, listen here, *The Bodyguard* ain’t perfect. Script’s flimsier than my first wig, ha! But Whitney as this diva *whore*—shoot, she’s sellin’ it! Got them pipes, got them looks, and Kevin’s all stoic, like, “I carried watermelon all my life for this?” Kinda cracks me up. Fun fact, y’all—didja know Whitney wasn’t even s’posed to star? They wanted some other gal, but she nabbed it, and thank the stars! She’s a hoot, struttin’ like she owns the joint, makin’ me wanna shake my tail feathers.

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Suddenly, this random dog runs up to us. It’s got mud all over it. I’m talking full-on mud monster. It jumps on Liam, and he’s freaking out. “Get it off me!” I’m dying laughing. The dog’s just happy, wagging its tail like it’s the best day ever.

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