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About Cork

Listen up, idiot sandwich! Ever tried it? Some dodgy parlour, neon lights flicker—fuckin’ sketchy! Masseuse winks, you’re like, “Oh, shit, really?” Costs a tenner more than a regular rub—cheeky sods! Little fact for ya—ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage with benefits,” posh twats oiled up senators! Makes me laugh, picturin’ Caesar gettin’ frisky—hah! “We killed more than in the movies!”—nah, mate, just knobs and kneading here.

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After that, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the River Suir. It’s beautiful there, ya know? The water’s glistening, and I’m thinkin’ about life. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re trying to take a selfie with the river in the background, but they’re all crowded together, and one of ‘em falls in! I’m dying laughing. Like, who needs a comedy show when you’ve got Cluain-Meala’s finest?

Concert band from Tipperary strikes all the right notes in west Cork