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About Waterford

Personal quirk? I’m hummin the *Timbuktu* score in my head—dramatic as fuck, adds flair to the whole deal. Exaggeratin? Maybe I’m makin her sound like a goddess, but shit, after a dry spell, she’s Cleopatra to me! Funniest part? She’s crackin jokes bout her last john—some dude who cried after. I’m dyin, laughin my ass off—hookers got better stories than comics, swear.

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I finally make it to the new venue. It’s a total dump. I’m standing there, looking around, and I’m like, “This is where we’re hosting an event?” I can’t even. The place is falling apart. I’m about to lose it.

Two women injured after carjacking in Co Kildare