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About Cork

Heya buddy! So I’m a carpenter, right? Hammerin’ nails all day, whack whack! And I’m thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Yup, you heard me! Like, is that even a thing carpenters do? I dunno, man, but I’m Patrick Star, so who cares? “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” Haha, nah, but I bet it’d make a squishy sound if ya tried!

Nobody is coming soon

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So, we’re all outside, waiting for the fire brigade. And I’m thinking, “Great, just great. I’m gonna miss my lunch.” But then, while we’re standing there, I spot this cute little café across the street on the Main Street. It’s called The Coffee Dock. I mean, who can resist a good cappuccino, right? So, I’m like, “Screw it, I’m getting coffee.”

Death Notice of John Phillips (Celbridge, Kildare)