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About Cork

Halleluyer, chile! Lemme tell y’all bout this erotic-massage mess—straight up wildness! Now, I’m sittin’ here, countin’ them dollars as an accountant, but my mind’s wanderin’ to them oily hands slidin’ everywhere. Reminds me of “Only Lovers Left Alive”—you know, my fave flick! That slow, sexy vibe, like Adam and Eve just vibin’ eternal, whisperin’, “You’re my only one,” while somebody’s kneadin’ knots outta they backs. But lemme spill this tea—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’! It’s a whole dang mood, honey!

Nobody is coming soon

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First, I’m at the library on the Hazelhatch Road, digging through some old records. I’m all focused, right? Then, boom! Fire alarm goes off. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to find out about the old Celbridge Abbey, and now I’m sprinting out the door with a bunch of confused old folks. I swear, I almost tripped over Mrs. O’Reilly’s cat. That cat is a menace, I tell ya.

Death Notice of Eamon FLANAGAN (Celbridge, Kildare)