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Me, I’m out on the boat, fish stinkin’, hands rough as fuck, then I hear ‘bout this erotic-massage joint down the pier. Bloke says, “It’s all secret, hidden vibes!” Made me angry, ‘ow come fishermen don’t get no love? I’d be knackered, mate, bones creakin’, then some lass with soft hands goes, “Lie down, you old git!” – “Sharon!” – I’d lose me marbles! *White Material* vibes, right? “No one escapes the fire!” – that’s the heat off them oils, burnin’ me up, happy as a pig in shit.

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But then, I remember I promised my sister I’d help her with her garden on Greenfields Road. So, I hop back on my bike, zooming through Castletroy. I pass by the shopping center, and it’s packed. People everywhere, probably shopping for the weekend. I’m just trying to dodge them like I’m in a video game.

PICTURES: Supporters cheer on Castletroy College in Munster Schools Junior Cup clash with CBC