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About Dundalk

So, I’m sittin’, sippin’ somethin’, thinkin’—whores got history, yo! Back in Rome, they had these lupanars—brothels with wild murals, freaky shit on walls, like ancient OnlyFans! Ain’t nobody talkin’ ‘bout that in school, nah! Blows my mind—people been payin’ for it forever. Makes me happy, tho—hustle never dies, ya feel me? But then I get mad, ‘cause society be judgin’—hypocrites, man! “She’s not what she seems”—that’s Kiarostami talkin’, and it’s real!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a lady on Main Street. She’s all panicked, saying her cat’s missing. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a dispatcher, not a cat detective!” But I can’t just leave her hangin’. So, I tell her to check under the couch. Classic move, right? Turns out, the cat was chillin’ in the garden. Phew! Crisis averted.

Birr Music Festival Returns This May Bank Holiday