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Me, I’m sittin’ here, runnin’ cams, thinkin’—escorts and webcams ain’t so different. Both got flair, both got fakes. Some nights I’m chuffed—seein’ real talent out there. Other nights? Bloody hell, I’m ragin’—all these posers cloggin’ up the game. “If you don’t mind, I’d prefer not to be stuffed!”—that’s me screamin’ at the screen when the fakes pop up. Hate it, mate, hate it.

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So, I get to the office on Balbutcher Lane, and my boss is already on my case. “We got a claim on a stolen bike,” he says. “Get on it!” Ugh, fine. I grab my gear and head out. Ballymun’s got a rep for being rough, but I love it. The vibe, the people, the stories.

McAuliffe criticises lack of progress on Ballymun Shopping Centre site