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Tell ya what surprised me – it’s not all dodgy! Some proper posh spas do it, all legit, candles and whale music. Thought it’d be seedy, but nah, class act. Mate of mine, Dave, swears by it, says it’s “better than a pint”. Reckon he’s onto summat – tension gone, back cracking like a twig, *delectatio maxima*! Makes me wanna bellow “More life in a tramp’s vest!” like Bob in the film.

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So, I keep hustling. I hit up the local pub, The Happy Pear, and chat with the owner, Tom. He’s a legend. He’s like, “I’ll donate some drinks for the fair.” I’m thinking, “This is gonna be a party!” But then, I remember the last time I had too many drinks at his pub. Let’s just say, I woke up with a headache and a mystery bruise.

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