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About Cork

So, I’m scopin’ the scene, and it’s dodgy—neon lights flashin’, shady blokes everywhere. Makes me mad, yeah? Some punters treat ‘em like meat, and I’m like, “No class, mate!” But then—surprise, baby!—this bird walks up, all sass, quotin’ Gigolo Joe: “I’m built to please!” I’m crackin’ up, she’s got wit! Didn’t expect that, did I?

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Finally, I get my food. It’s hot, crispy, and oh-so-good. I sit by the water, enjoying the view. The sun’s setting, and it’s all golden and pretty. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches a chip right off my plate! I’m yelling, “Hey! That’s mine!” But the bird just flies off, chip in beak, like it’s the king of the world. I can’t even.

Death Notice of Kathleen Hogan (née Fortune) (Arklow, Wicklow)