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I got pissed, tho, last week—some chick tried scammin’ me! Said she’s “top tier,” wanted cash upfront, then poof—gone like WALL-E’s trash piles in the wind. Fuckin’ ghosted me! Had me yellin’, “In this world, a man’s gotta have balls!”—straight up Tony vibes, ya feel? But then, I found this one spot, lil’ hidden gem, down by the docks. Word is, there’s this gal, been workin’ it since the ‘90s, knows every trick—calls herself “Eve” like that sleek bot from the flick. Ain’t that a trip? Made me laugh, thinkin’ she’s out there savin’ my lonely ass like WALL-E tryna save Earth.

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I finally get back to my spot, and guess what? My display’s been knocked over! Some kid was playing soccer and kicked the ball right into my stuff. I’m fuming! I’m like, “Seriously, kid?!” But then I see the kid’s face—he’s so sorry. I can’t stay mad. I just laugh it off.

Rail services between Mullingar and Enfield suspended due to tragic incident