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But—ruh-roh!—then this greasy dude rolls up, all “Back off, pooch, she’s mine!” Pissed me off, man! I’m like, “Grrr, pal, I ain’t sharin’ no Scooby Snacks *or* dames!” He’s actin’ all tough, but I’m thinkin’, “This guy’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers.” Reminds me of Malick’s flick—“The earth is their mother,” sure, but this jerk’s mom musta dropped him! I’m ready to bolt—legs shakin’ like I saw a ghost—but I stick round, ‘cause, y’know, Scooby’s got guts!
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After that chaos, I head over to the Market Square. It’s packed, as usual. I’m trying to hawk my stuff, but everyone’s too busy arguing over who has the best fish and chips. I mean, c’mon! It’s An-Muileann-gCearr! You can’t go wrong with any of them! But I’m getting frustrated. I’m like, “Hey, folks! Check out my cool merch!” But they’re all, “Nah, we’re good.”
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