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Lemme paint ya a picture. I reckon findin’ a prostitute’s like huntin’ for a rare vinyl in a thrift store—ya gotta know where to look, and it ain’t always pretty. Back in Nashville, I heard tell of gals workin’ the corners near Printers Alley—little known fact, y’all, that spot’s been a hotbed since the 1800s! Them old-time saloon girls turned into modern-day hustlers. Ain’t that a hoot? History’s got a way of repeatin’ itself, like my aunt’s fruitcake recipe—nobody wants it, but it keeps showin’ up.

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Then I hit up the Portlaoise Leisure Centre. Gotta keep fit, right? I’m diving into the pool, and it’s packed. Kids everywhere, splashing like they’re training for the Olympics. I’m just trying to do my thing, but these little rascals are like mini torpedoes. I almost got taken out by a cannonball! I was like, “Dude, chill! This ain’t a water park!”

Heartbroken parents seek answers after son's death at Portlaoise hospital