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About Waterford

“Everything’s a fucking lie,” I mutter, Margaret-style, watchin’ dudes hagglin’. Prostitute life ain’t no movie, tho—grimey, raw, quick cash. I’m like, damn, they slicker than me slidin’ rhymes! Once saw this one queen, red heels clickin’, flipped a cop the bird—hilarious, bro! Had me dyin’, like, “She the boss!” Little known fact: some use code words, “roses” for dollars—sneaky, right?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Elm. You know, the one with the weird art on the walls? Yeah, that place. I ordered my usual—double shot of espresso, extra foam. But guess what? They messed it up! I got a decaf. Like, who drinks decaf? I was fuming! I mean, I need my caffeine fix to deal with the madness of Oldbawn.

Death Notice of Michael Cooling (Old Bawn, Dublin)