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So I roll up, all ominous-like. “You either die a hero…” or you pay up, right? This chick—let’s call her Candy—leans in, smirkin’. “Hey, big guy, got credits?” I’m like, “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” She laughs—nervy broad! I respect that. We haggle—20 creds, 30 creds—damn, inflation’s a bitch. She’s got this scar, right across her cheek. “Joker did it,” she says. I’m thinkin’, “Bitch, please, I’d choke him first.” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my story!

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I headed to the park near the old mill. It’s such a chill spot. I plopped down on a bench, munching on my strawberries, when I noticed this cute dog running around. It was a golden retriever, and it came right up to me. I swear, it was like he knew I needed a friend. I started petting him, and he was just loving it. Dogs are the best, man.

RIP: Tipperary deaths and funeral details, February 7