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I’m happy when it’s done right, tho. Like, not creepy, but connective, ya know? It’s supposed to relax you, turn you on, make you feel alive. But ugh, some places are sketchy as hell. I read about a spa in Nevada that got busted for, like, illegal stuff, and I was like, “Shocker!” People ruin everything. Still, when it’s legit, it’s amazing. They use oils, feathers, even hot stones sometimes. Hot stones! I was surprised how good that feels, not gonna lie.

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So, I’m laughin’ and clappin’, and then I spot this cute girl. She’s got this amazing smile, and I’m like, “Wow, she’s a real gem.” I try to play it cool, but I trip over my own feet. Classic me! She giggles, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m the town clown.” But hey, at least I made her laugh, right?

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