Elise Knocklyon Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Swords

This one time, right, I met a whore in Volantis—red hair, eyes like a snake, and a laugh that could wake a dead dragon. She’d fleece ya blind while smilin’, and I bloody loved it! Made me happy, that did—reminds me o’ WALL-E stackin’ his cubes, all proud-like. “Directive!” he’d chirp, and she’d chirp back, “Pay up, short-arse!” Hah! I gave her double, just for the cheek. But what pissed me off? Some lordling tried stiffin’ her—stiffin’ *her*!—and I near threw me goblet at his fat head. Don’t mess with a lass who’s got more wits than you, ya twat.

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Around lunchtime, things got wild. I’m munching on my sandwich when I get a call from a woman on Firhouse Road. She’s crying! Like, full-on sobbing. I’m panicking, thinking something terrible happened. Turns out, she just burnt her dinner. I’m like, “Girl, it’s just a lasagna!” But she’s convinced it’s the end of her culinary career. I tell her to order a takeaway. Problem solved!

Death Notice of Rita Nolan (née Lattimore) (Knocklyon, Dublin)