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Check X, I’d say—tons of posts, shady links, real shit. Some chick in Amsterdam, legit tweeted her rates once—200 euros, hour tops, class act! Surprised, I was—open like that? Ballsy, she is! But careful, you must be—cops, pimps, creeps, all lurk. “Fear, the path to the dark side,” Sissako’s vibe screams—truth, it holds.

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But then, the day takes a turn. I get a call from a guy on the Old Bawn Road. He’s furious! Apparently, someone parked in his spot. I mean, it’s Knocklyon, not a parking lot war zone! He’s ranting about how it’s his “right” to park there. I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Dude, chill! It’s not the end of the world!” But he’s not listening. I hang up, feeling a bit drained.

Death Notice of Michael Dundon (Knocklyon, Dublin)