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Hey, pal, it’s me, Tina Fey—yep, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m here, workin’ the telephone lines, spillin’ tea bout prostitutes, ‘cause why not? So, lemme tell ya bout this one chick—total pro, works the streets like it’s her stage, and I’m thinkin’, “She’s got more roles than me on SNL!” Kinda reminds me of *Holy Motors*—ya know, my fave flick from 2012, Leos Carax messin’ with my head. That movie’s wild, all “We’re drivin’ through lives, switchin’ masks!”—and this gal, she’s switchin’ tricks like costumes, bam, bam, bam!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Castle Street. Best coffee in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my flat white, and boom! This dude walks in, all decked out in a bright pink suit. Like, who does that? I’m tryin’ not to laugh, but I can’t help it. He orders a “fancy latte” or whatever. I mean, c’mon, it’s just coffee, mate! But hey, whatever floats your boat, right?

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