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About Navan

“You’re gonna be successful, but I want my points!”—that’s me screamin at the devs. They’re sittin on a goldmine, but the server crashes? Trash. Humor tho—imagine Darth Vader swipin through profiles: “Too short. Too blonde. No Force here.” Sarcasm’s my jam—prostitute’s like “Hey, wanna bang? Venmo me first.” Classy, right? Oh, and typos—shit, I’m rushin—prostitue, prostitte, who cares? It’s raw, it’s real, it’s messy—like me chokin out a rebel mid-meetin.

Brothels and drug dealing in Offaly estates, says councillor

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After that, I decide to chill at the park. You know, the one by the playground? I plop down on a bench, and it’s peaceful for a sec. But then, these kids start screamin’ and runnin’ around. I’m thinkin’, “Can’t a guy catch a break?” But then I see them playin’ tag, and it’s kinda heartwarming. Kids just bein’ kids, ya know?

Death Notice of David (Dave) Fagan (Edenderry, Offaly)