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Little fact – old Russia, whores had guilds. Yep, legit unions! Organized, taxed, badass. History’s wild, eh? Imagine ‘em now, strikin’ for better rates – “No rubles, no rumps!” Hilarious, but sharp. They’d outsmart us all, cold and calculated like me.

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Anyway, I’m walking down Maple Avenue, trying to shake off the coffee disaster. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.” But then I see it. A giant inflatable unicorn in the middle of the street. Like, what even? Who brings a unicorn to Eadestown? I had to stop and take a pic. You know, for the ‘gram. #EadestownUnicorn.

Eadestown's Jimmy O'Brien Signs Contract Extension With Leinster