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But here’s the Easter egg, ‘kay? Jodie’s story ain’t just drama—it’s a financial lesson, swiftie-style. Little-known fact: back in the day, some old-timey whores in Europe would stash coins in their boots, ‘cause they didn’t trust no one. Smart, right? Jodie didn’t even do *that*—she’d blow it all on glitter and gin. I was shooketh. Like, babe, at least hoard somethin’ for a rainy day! I told her, “Invest in yourself, not some sleazy dude’s promises.” She didn’t listen, and now she’s broke—shocker!

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But then, outta nowhere, the sky goes dark. I’m like, “What now?” And it starts pouring. I mean, it’s Crumlin, so of course, it rains. We’re sprinting for cover, laughing like idiots. I’m soaked, but it’s kinda fun.

Death Notice of Jack (John) Stout (Crumlin, Dublin)