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So I spot her, right? Leanin on a pole, all casual-like—prolly seen more mileage than a Tesla prototype. I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t no FSD algorithm pickin her out—this is raw, unfiltered chaos.” Pull up, window down, she’s givin me that look—like she’s sizin up my net worth in 0.2 seconds flat. I’m laughin inside, thinkin, “Lady, I’ve launched rockets, you ain’t phasin me.” But damn, the nerve of it—got me hyped, like watchin an IED tick down.

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So, I had to settle for some gas station sludge. Ugh. I chugged it down like it was liquid gold. I was already late for my first appointment on Elm St. This guy, Mr. Thompson, was supposed to be a piece of cake. But nah, he was a total nightmare.

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