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I ask her rate—50 bucks, she says. Cheap, right? But I’m broke as a joke, so I haggle. “Don’t pee on my leg, girl, I ain’t no millionaire!” She smirks, drops it to 40. Deal. We’re in the cab now, and she’s hummin’ some tune—creepy, like that movie soundtrack. “Do you want to look at me?” she asks, all sultry. Hell yeah, I do! But it’s quick—15 minutes tops. Tractor seat’s squeakin’, I’m prayin’ no cop rolls by.

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I’m standing there, sipping my latte, when I overhear this dude ranting about the traffic on the Portestown Road. He’s going off about how it’s a nightmare. I mean, I get it, but dude, chill! It’s just traffic. But then, I start thinking, “What if I just walked?” So, I decide to take a detour through the park.

Death Notice of Kay (Kathleen) Stanley (née Reilly) (Castleknock, Dublin)