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Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute! Nasal nag comin right up! So I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave flick, “In the Mood for Love,” all that slow-burnin tension, them stolen glances—geez, makes me wanna slap Homer for never lookin at me like that! Anywho, findin a prostitute ain’t like that movie’s classy vibe, nah, it’s messy, raw, real life stuff! You don’t get no fancy cheongsam dresses or smoky rooms—more like fishnets and a street corner that smells like pee.

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m feeling good. I stroll down by the Carrigaline River. It’s pretty chill, but then I see this kid on a bike. He’s zooming down the path like he’s in the Tour de France or something. I’m thinking, “Dude, slow down!” But nah, he hits a bump and goes flying. I’m talking full-on superhero landing. I almost laughed, but then I saw his face. Oof. Poor kid.

Bantry and Rosscarbery keep pace with leaders Carrigaline