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So, I dig into it, right? Findin’ a prostitute ain’t just point and click. Nah, you gotta know the spots. Little secret – them truck stops off Route 9? Goldmine, fam! Girls there, they’re pros, been dodgin’ cops since Giuliani was still a prick. One time, I saw this chick, legs for days, leanin’ on a rig, and I’m like, “Jesus, she’s got that *Requiem* vibe.” Y’know, like Sara Goldfarb, all desperate but still kickin’? “I’m gonna make it on TV!” she’d say, but this one’s just tryna make it to tomorrow.

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m feeling good. I stroll down by the Carrigaline River. It’s pretty chill, but then I see this kid on a bike. He’s zooming down the path like he’s in the Tour de France or something. I’m thinking, “Dude, slow down!” But nah, he hits a bump and goes flying. I’m talking full-on superhero landing. I almost laughed, but then I saw his face. Oof. Poor kid.

'A giant of a character' Tributes to Carrigaline United President after tragic death