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Me fave whore story? This lass, Molly, swear she bedded Blackbeard hisself! Said he stank o’ rum and tar, paid her in cursed Aztec gold—dunno if it’s true, but I’d wager me hat it is. She’d purr, “You’re too sad for me,” like Samantha tellin’ Theodore he’s a mess. Got me thinkin’—whores see yer soul, mate, strip ye bare ‘fore ye know it. Surprised me, aye, how they read ye like a map to Davy Jones’ locker.

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Then, we decided to hit up the Cabinteely Village for some grub. We ended up at this pub on the main street. You know the one with the green door? Yeah, that place. I ordered a burger, and it was massive! Like, I’m talking a tower of meat and cheese. I was so happy, I could’ve cried. But then, I took a bite, and it was cold! Cold! I was like, “What is this, a freezer?” The waiter was super nice, though. He took it back and brought me a fresh one. Bless him.

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