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Sex-dating’s got perks tho – quick hookups, no strings, pure chaos. Like that scene where Llewelyn finds the cash, you snag a win outta nowhere. This one night, matched with a dancer – legs for days, moved like she owned the room. Took it to the crib, and damn, I was cheesin’ hard. “This ain’t no country for old men,” I whispered, feelin’ young again. But then – plot twist – she dipped at 3 a.m., left a note sayin’ “fun night, peace.” Surprised me, stung a bit, but YOLO, you feel me?

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I’m an archivist, right? You know, digging through dusty old boxes, finding gems of history. But today? Today was a whole different ball game.

Death Notice of Albert Garraway (Balbriggan, Dublin)