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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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While they’re splashing around, I sit on the sand, just chillin’. I see this kid buildin’ a sandcastle. It’s epic! I’m talkin’ towers, moats, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna be the next architect!” He just grins, and I’m like, “I should hire you for my next project!”

Indonesia’s national rice stock at 8 million tonnes by year end