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I’m feelin’ randy as a goat, but also kinda chuffed – she’s got sass, this one! I haggle, throw in some charm, say, “C’mon, doll, let’s make it a gas!” She smirks, drops to 40 quid – score! I’m happier than a hippie on hash, yeah baby! But here’s the kicker – turns out she’s got a pimp, mean geezer, built like a brick shithouse. I’m thinkin’, “I just want to be loved, is that so wrong?” – movie vibes again, ya dig?

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First off, I hit up Jl. Raya Muntilan for some breakfast. You know, the usual nasi goreng and kopi. But the warung was packed! I mean, who knew everyone in Muntilan was a morning person? I had to wait like forever. I was hangry, and you know how that goes. I was ready to throw a fit. But then, I met this old dude, Pak Budi. He was hilarious! Told me stories about the good ol’ days. Like, he used to ride a bike all the way to Borobudur. I was like, “Dude, that’s a trek!” But he was all smiles, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

Volcanic ash from Mount Merapi covers 9th-century Buddhist temple in Indonesia