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Oh, and she’s a thief! Nicks food off my plate—caught her with a sausage once, draggin’ it like it’s her bloody bounty. “The assassination of my fuckin’ dinner by the coward Prostitute!” I roared. She just blinked—didn’t care. Little known story—mate of mine swears she pinched a whole chicken leg from his BBQ last summer. Legend says she buried it somewhere, probably plottin’ to off me next.

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just my luck, right? We’re in the dark, and I’m like, “Great, now what?” Rudi pulls out his phone, and we’re sittin’ there, scrollin’ through memes. I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fumin’. I mean, come on, Kalianget! Get it together!

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