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But ugh, what pisses me off? These shady parlors—ya think it’s legit, then bam, creepy vibes! “We are only human,” Eve says in the movie, but some masseuses? Robots with cold hands! Hate that! I’d rather a warm touch, somethin’ real—makes me all tingly thinkin’ bout it. Surprised me once, tho—this gal I knew, she swore her erotic-massage fixed her back AND her love life! I’m like, “Hmm… sign me up!”

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just my luck, right? We’re in the dark, and I’m like, “Great, now what?” Rudi pulls out his phone, and we’re sittin’ there, scrollin’ through memes. I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fumin’. I mean, come on, Kalianget! Get it together!

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