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Hola, dudes! Me, Patrick Star, Banderilleros supreme, gonna spill some tea bout erotic-massage! Like, whoa, it’s wild, right? Hands all slippery, slidin’ everywhere—kinda like fish floppin’ on a boat! I seen it once, got all tingly, like when I watch *Inception*. You know, “We gotta go deeper!”—that’s what I yelled when this chick rubbed my back! Hahaha, is mayonnaise an instrument? Nah, but oil is, bro! They drizzle it, warm and gooey, makes ya feel like a jelly donut!

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We start workin’, and it’s all good until we get this old machine in. It’s a real piece of junk. I mean, it’s older than my grandma! We’re tryin’ to fix it, but it’s like it’s got a mind of its own. I’m cursing under my breath, and Rudi’s laughin’ at me. “You talk to machines like they’re people!” he says. Well, maybe they are!

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