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Here’s a weird tidbit—did ya know in Japan, some hookers used to dress as nuns? Nuns! Talk about a holy surprise! Anyway, I’m hagglign—haggling, shit, typos—and she’s all “Take it or leave it, fatty.” Rude! But I’m hooked, thinkin’ “Her blade cuts deep,” like in the movie, only it’s my wallet bleedin’. I cough up the cash, heart racin’, and she’s smirkin’ like she owns me. D’oh! Total sucker move.

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So, I’m walking down Jl. Pahlawan, trying to find another spot. I pass this little warung. The smell? OMG, it was heavenly! Nasi goreng, man! I couldn’t resist. I ordered a plate, and it was like a party in my mouth. Happy vibes restored!

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