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So, this one tart, right? Saw her outside King’s Landing—er, some dodgy alley. She’s struttin’, all sass, skirt barely coverin’ her arse. I’m thinkin’, “She’s got guts!” Most blokes’d just leer, but me? I notice the scars—tiny ones, wrists n’ all. Life’s a right bastard to ‘em, ain’t it? Made me bloody mad, that. World chews ‘em up, spits ‘em out, and nobody cares. “Let me in,” she’d say, like that vampire lass, only she’s beggin’ for coin, not blood.

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Then, I bumped into my buddy, Rafi. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he tells me he saw a monkey steal a tourist’s sandwich. I mean, who knew monkeys had such good taste? I laughed so hard, I almost cried. Rafi’s the best for that.

Shallow M6.0 earthquake hits North Sumatra, Indonesia