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So, find a prostitute—sounds easy, right? Nah, bruv, it’s a bloody mission. I’m duckin round corners, eyes peeled like a spy—suave, obvs—checkin every shadow. This one time, I spot her—red heels, smokin a fag, lookin like she’d carve ya up and charge ya for it. “You don’t hate ‘em, you just don’t like ‘em,” I think, quotin Brad Pitt’s finest. Made me chuckle—lass had sass, y’know? I’m all charm, “Fancy a martini, love? Shaken, not stirred.” She rolls her eyes—fair, I’d roll ‘em too.

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So, I finally made it to the market on Jl. Cibadak. You know, the one that’s always buzzing with life? I was hyped for some fresh fruits. But then, I saw this vendor selling durians. Ugh, durians! They smell like a gym sock left in the sun. I was like, “No thanks, bro!” But the guy insisted. “Best in Soreang!” he said. Yeah, right. I’d rather eat cardboard.

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