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Now, I ain’t sayin’ I’d hire her—Madea don’t play that—but I was curious. She starts talkin’ ‘bout her life, how she “recalls her past lives” like Uncle Boonmee. Says she was a nurse once, centuries ago, healin’ soldiers. I’m like, “Well, halleluyer, you upgraded to healin’ somethin’ else now!” She laughed, and I did too—couldn’t help it. Her vibe was wild, like them ghosts in the movie, floatin’ ‘round, tellin’ secrets. “I am with you in the dark,” she whispers, all mysterious. Gave me chills, y’all!

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But then, outta nowhere, this stray dog decides to join my breakfast party. I’m like, “Bro, this is my food!” But he’s giving me those puppy eyes. Ugh, I can’t resist. I toss him a piece, and he looks at me like I just handed him a gold bar. I’m laughing, but also kinda mad. Like, why can’t I have a moment alone?

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