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But here’s a secret, darlin’—some places sneak in “extras.” Oh, I ain’t judgin’, but I was shocked plumb to my toes! Thought, “Dolly, you ain’t that kinda gal!” Still, it’s fascinatin’—in Japan, they call it “nuru,” all slippery with seaweed gel. Seaweed! I’d prob’ly smell like a sushi roll! Makes me laugh ‘til my sides split. “Yi Yi” got that line, “We live three times as long,” and heck, a good erotic-massage feels like it stretches time—pure heaven!

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First stop, the warung on Jl. Raya Pemalang. Gotta get my fix of nasi goreng. I swear, that place is magic. The owner, Bu Siti, she’s like a culinary wizard. I’m chowing down, and suddenly, this dude bursts in. He’s all flustered, yelling about a goat on the loose. A goat! In the middle of the city! I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s just a goat.” But nah, he’s convinced it’s gonna cause chaos.

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