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Now, “Under the Skin” has this bit—Scarlett’s luring a geezer. “You won’t need that,” she says, dead sultry. Sexual-massage is like that—teasing, slow burn. You’re lying there, starkers, thinking, “Crikey, this is dodgy!” But it’s lush, mate, proper lush. Relaxes you, then—bam!—gets you frisky. Little known fact: in Japan, they’ve got *nurumassage*. Slimey gel, lass slides all over ya! Saw it on X once, nearly spat me tea.

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After that, I decided to stroll down Jalan Gajah Mada. The street was buzzing! Street vendors everywhere, selling everything from keripik balado to those sweet, sweet kue cubir. I grabbed a few snacks, and honestly, I was in heaven. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zoomed past me and knocked my snacks right outta my hands! I was like, “Dude, what the heck?!” I mean, come on!

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