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She’s got legs like Churchill’s cigar—short, stubby, but packs a punch. Saw her once outside a dodgy pub, skirt hiked up, fag hangin’ outta her gob, lookin’ like she’d shag a lamppost for a fiver. Made me bloody angry—where’s the class, eh? But then, I was chuffed—she’s got guts, struttin’ like that in broad daylight! We shall never surrender to her brazen ways, yet I salute her grit.

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But then, outta nowhere, this group of kids came by. They were throwing rocks at my charcoal pile! I was like, “What the heck, kids?!” I mean, I get it, they’re just having fun, but c’mon! I yelled at them, “You wanna help me or what?” They just laughed and ran off. Kids these days, man.

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