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About Bandung

So, me, I’m Mr. Bean, yeah? *mimes rubbing shoulders, drops imaginary oil bottle* Oops! I’d be rubbish at it—hands shakin’, oil everywhere, prolly slip on me arse. But—ooh—it’s lush, innit? Relaxes ya, gets the blood pumpin’. *hums, sways, bangs knee on table* Ow! Bloody hell, that’s me—clumsy git. “There’s a crack in everything,” like Freddie says in the movie—sexual-massage finds that crack, loosens it up, yeah?

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If you want to have quick and easy sex in Jakarta, the “massage parlors” are the best and most discrete place to go.

Finally, I make it to the park. It’s beautiful, with that big ol’ water palace. I’m just chilling, enjoying the view, when my buddy shows up. He’s got this crazy story about catching a giant fish off the coast. I’m all ears! But then, he starts exaggerating. “It was like 500 pounds!” I’m like, “Dude, you sure it wasn’t just a big rock?”

Coldplay concert: Chris Martin's 5 unforgettable moments in India