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Alright, listen up, you degenerates! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it ain’t all glitz and glamour like them movies! My fave flick’s *Ida*—you know, that Polish gem from 2013? Quiet, stark, black-and-white vibes. Ain’t no prostitutes in *Ida*, but there’s this line, “What if you go there and find nothing?” Hits me right in the gut thinkin’ bout hirin’ some company. What if I shell out cash and it’s a total bust? Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’—I’d be pissed!

Introduction: Defining Prostitution In India

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First stop, the local warung for some breakfast. I’m talking about that classic nasi goreng, the kind that makes you feel like you can conquer the world. I’m munching away, and suddenly, this stray cat jumps on my table. I’m like, “Dude, I didn’t order a side of feline!” But it was cute, so I gave it a bit of my fried rice. I mean, who can resist those big eyes, right?