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Happy? Hell no—makes me wanna yell, “Pick a lane, lady!” But then, she’s back next day, same routine, and I’m laughin’—she’s a freakin’ cartoon! Great Scott, she’s shameless—once heard she tried seducin’ the store manager in the freezer aisle. Didn’t work, tho—dude’s gay as glitter. Ha! “You’re messin’ with the wrong karma!”—straight outta the movie, fits her perfect. She’s a trainwreck, but I can’t look away—kinda admire the hustle, ya know? Whore or not, she’s livin’ loud.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Rudi shows up. He’s always got the best stories. He’s like, “Yo, did you hear about the new café on Jalan Garuda?” I’m like, “Nah, what’s up?” Apparently, they got this crazy coffee that’s supposed to be the best in Lubuklinggau. I’m intrigued, but also, I’m stuck here.

Small magnitude 2.8 quake hits 3 miles southeast of Redlands, California, United States after midnight